All I want to do is sleep

As you mother's know (or men who have children and have heard about these things endlessly), the first trimester of pregnancy is filled with all sorts of fun things. For some it is morning sickness, for others heartburn and for most, extreme tiredness. I know I mentioned it before, but exhaustion has been my main "symptom." Because of this, I can no longer stay up past 10 pm. In fact, last night I fell asleep at 8:30 pm. I think the last time I did that was...well, never. The problem is that once I am asleep I will have to wake up to use the bathroom about 100 times (sorry if that is TMI) during the night and then have trouble falling asleep again.

So, last night - lights out at 8:30 pm. I then woke up at 2 am and laid in the dark until about 4 am. Here is what I was thinking about:

2 am: Man, it's 2 am. How long have I been sleeping? 4 and a half, no 5 and a half hours. Good thing I majored in English since I can't count. Speaking of counting, if we spend X amount on daycare that means, it will cost us X amount per year. WAIT! That is XXX amount per year. Maybe I should have taken more math classes. Hope this kid doesn't expect to eat or have clothing. It can probably share toys with Fozzie (our dog). I mean both babies and dogs drool a lot. It could work. Oh, I have to go to the bathroom.

2:05 am: Crap, why am I still awake?

3:00 am: Seriously? I just want to go back to sleep. I think I will go to the bathroom again.

3:05 am: I wonder what Blueberry will look like. I think that if I ever won an Academy Award I would thank my family of course, and all of the people who helped me. And maybe Matt Damon and Ben Affleck since they were the ones who inspired me to write screenplays (side note: just so you know - that is what I will win an Academy Award for "Best Original Screenplay").

3:06 am to 4:00 am: As the night/morning wears on I proceed to revise my Academy Award speech a few times. Listen to Jon breathe (loudly and through his nose). Shift positions a million times. Put a pillow over my head. Get scared that I will suffocate and remove the pillow. Think about Blueberry more. Go to the bathroom a few more times. Debate whether I should throw in the towel regarding sleeping altogether. Look at the clock 300 more times (who knew that it would take so long to change from 3:41 am to 3:42 am) and then finally, finally drift off to sleep.

But poor Jon, once I fall asleep he is awoken by my very loud, nasal breathing. I am thinking Fozzie is the only one who actually got a decent night's sleep. At least my speech is planned for the Academy Awards and I have had an opportunity to work on my addition, subtraction and multiplication.

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