Seriously?

I am having a baby in 50 days (give or take). Seriously? Two questions:
1) Where did time go?
2) Can I really do this?

The other night I was having an emotional sob-fest, freaking out (probably because I saw a Pampers commercial that set me off) about what a big deal this is. Through my tears and snot I said (rather hysterically) to Jon "I can't do this!" His response: "It's too late now." After my voice raised about 10 octaves (screeching that that was not the answer I needed to hear, that I was well aware of the timing of the whole thing and that last I checked, he wasn't the one with giant, swollen feet, a baby butt stuck in his ribs and a huge head that he had to push out of a very private place), he tried his best to calm me down and said that nobody is ever really ready and that we will be great parents.

Deep down I know that we can do it. We are two smart people who put a lot of thought into what goes into having a baby before we even tried to get pregnant. There are a lot of people dumber than us (cough: Octomom) who have babies all the time. I think that what is getting to me is how quickly time has gone by. I truly feel like I just got pregnant a few months ago - not 8. Technically you are pregnant for the better part of a year and many people I know have said that once you get to the end you are just ready to have that baby out. I, on the other hand, am fairly okay with him staying in for a little while longer. Sure, the heart burn sucks, the constant need to go to the bathroom is getting a little old and my breakup with my beloved sleep is still as painful as ever. But I guess I just thought that I would have more time to accomplish some things before he was born. Not like skydiving or sailing the world, but reading some more books, getting more of the house ready, taking up jujitsu.

But those things will come. As for now, I just want to enjoy my last few weeks with Jon as a family of two, relax, sleep as much as my bladder will allow and get as ready as I can for the arrival of our rapidly growing Blueberry. Time may be flying by, but by golly, I plan to take advantage of all that time has to offer - now and when the baby arrives.