The Last 100 Days

Well, I am almost there. Only 100 more days until we welcome our little Blueberry/Soybean into the world (though we all know he will arrive when he feels like it). While I am so excited about becoming a parent, I am also scared shitless.

For the rest of our lives, Jon and I will be responsible for another person. Because even when he is grown and not living in our house, we will worry and care and wonder. We will be responsible for making decisions that will shape the person he will become. We will be responsible for giving him enough love, attention, discipline and leniency so that he will be an outstanding citizen, great boyfriend, husband, father and grandfather. We will be responsible for not pushing our personal dreams on him and allowing him to be the person he wants to be. We will be responsible for providing him the best education possible, rewarding his successes and accepting his limitations. We will be responsible for hugs and kisses, smiles and tears. We will always be there for him, through good times and bad.

I know that we are not the first people to have a child and we certainly won't be the last. As I go through this pregnancy I realize that each person's pregnancy is different, each baby is different and each parent and child will be different. I am excited and terrified about the adventure that we will embark upon in 100 days. It will be the ride of our lives. A ride that we can't wait to get on and one that will never end.

Bill Cosby said "In spite of the six thousand manuals on raising children in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage."

The love is already there and I'm sure it will intensify the second that we look at his tiny face, hold his little hand and watch as he grows from baby to child and child to adult. The luck will come and the courage...well, that's building.